<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Sunflower by lattemochi</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27760636">The Sunflower</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lattemochi/pseuds/lattemochi'>lattemochi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Professors, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And so is Reader, Angst, F/M, Hints that reader has pale skin, I mean Ushi is Smart in here he isn't a flat earther so it is kinda ooc, Mentions of Death, Pining, Self-Indulgent, Ushijima is a teacher, With happy ending, also Ushi has a motorbike, hurt comfort, includes description of literal heartbreak, it ain't essential to the plot but it's just Hot, kinda OOC, reader is not gender neutral</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:49:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27760636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lattemochi/pseuds/lattemochi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>In which Ushijima is oblivious, and her time is running out.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Soulmate AU in which someone’s skin gets colder every time their heart breaks, but as soon as they touch their soulmate for the first time, they get their warmth back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Sunflower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As the Queen of self-indulgence here I am back at it with another angsty piece but this time with a happy ending (kinda). Thanks for reading!</p>
<p>I saw this AU on tumblr years ago (when I originally wrote this), I've been searching all over the Internet to give credits, but I'm afraid op deleted their blog. </p>
<p>PS: I'm sorry my American dudses, but in this house we use Celsius there is no place for Farenheit here.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was always cold, even if that one had been the hottest summer in the last fifteen years. Autumn, however, was arriving and the trees were starting to stain the streets with warm colors. Everything felt cozier; cafés were always full of people enjoying their hot drinks, watching as the leaves fell from the trees. The rain wet the streets almost every day: being outside wasn’t the best idea, especially when the nightfall came earlier each day. But she liked being outside. She liked people, even if she didn’t talk to them that much. She liked their warmth and happiness; she hoped they could give some of them to her. </p>
<p>Maybe it was her nature, maybe it was her fate to die like this. She always had it all, she never yearned for nothing, yet she felt empty. She was loved, she had friends and family, yet her heart ached every day a little more, turning her body ice cold to the point the tips of her fingers and her lips were almost blue. She’d always used to see herself as a happy, joyful person, but her skin showed the opposite. She was desperate, she missed the warmth, and she was tired of a winter that was lasting for at least 22 years now. She couldn’t even remember the times she wouldn’t shiver all the time.</p>
<p>She didn’t care that people stared at her, however. She was pretty much used to being the weirdo wearing a cardigan when it was more than 30 degrees outside. They knew, of course. Almost everyone had gone through that, but they’d found their warmth eventually. Some of them had lost it but they’d found it again. A few of them, very little few, had died trying to get it back. She was afraid she’ll end up like them.</p>
<p>She wasn’t always sad, though. She lived a normal life, she worked out, and she went out with friends. She loved reading. She enjoyed watching whatever films Netflix offered, alone or with company. She adored her lemon tea in the morning. She went to college every day to teach; she’d ended up teaching History of Art and Architecture in a prestigious university. She loved taking pictures of pretty buildings and visiting the oldest places in town to appreciate how they were built. She was so passionate about architecture that she couldn’t have dreamed of a better job, she wanted to spread the passion she had to the students she taught.</p>
<p>She was too empathic for the world, though. If someone felt sad, she’d feel the same way. If her favorite character died, a part of her would die as well. She never listened to her mom when she was a child and her favorite rag doll got lost at some point and she started shivering:<i> ‘That melancholic tendency of yours will end you’ </i> she’d say to her when she grew up. She never understood the meaning of her words until now, but it was already too late. She was used to it, though; it wasn’t that bad after all. She’d avoid any kind of thing that left her heartbroken. Life, however, managed to break her heart into ice pieces; her poor attempt to stay alive was harder every day.</p>
<p>When she heard from a coworker at the teachers’ room that a new professor was hired to teach Landscape Architecture, she never imagined they’d be someone like him. She expected an experienced old man, with rimless glasses and a tweed jacket with elbow patches. She was used to being the youngest professor, but it wasn’t a problem. Everyone liked her, she never had a fight with anyone, and she was always taken seriously by her coworkers and her students. He was everything she didn’t expect him to be: incredibly tall, and fit. Broad shoulders, narrow waist and long legs, the body of an athlete. Usually dressed in nice and expensive wool sweaters in neutral colors or white shirts, sleeves often rolled up to his elbows. Dress pants or casual jeans depending on the day, normally combined with sneakers or a great variety of beautiful Oxford shoes. His brown hair soft looking, bangs not long enough to reach his eyebrows and parting to the side, and the sideburns neatly trimmed making his cheekbones and jawline look even sharper, and a pair of Havana glasses resting on his straight nose framed his face and made him look breathtaking.<br/> </p>
<p>
He was polite and serious, cold looking and intimidating, but actually very kind, and soft spoken. Most of the students and a great part of the professoriate had a crush on him, and no one could blame them.</p>
<p>The first time he looked at her she felt an electric shock down her spine, something she’d never experienced. He’d introduced himself to all the people present at the teachers’ room with his deep voice.</p>
<p>“Hello everyone. I’m Ushijima Wakatoshi, I’m 26 years old and I have a PhD in Architecture with master’s degree in Landscape Design. Nice to meet you all.”</p>
<p>“Another kiddo” murmured the Calculus professor, a middle-aged man that lived alone and used to hit on all the female staff, especially the younger ones. “You look like another student”.</p>
<p>“I just finished my studies” Ushijima replied, politely, despite the man’s harsh attitude.</p>
<p>“Hey, isn’t he the same age as you?” one of the nurses, a nice old woman that looked like everyone’s favorite grandma, turned to the girl. She nodded with a smile. “The youngsters are taking over us”. </p>
<p>Everyone laughed at her comment, and Ushijima headed towards the young woman, confidently.</p>
<p>“So, you’re 26 too?” She nodded again and Ushijima offered his hand like the well-behaved young man he was and waited for her to shake it. “I hope we can get along together”.</p>
<p>She didn’t even bother to take off her leather gloves which she always used to wear to prevent her hands from freezing (and also to prevent people from seeing her fingers almost blue). She just stood up and shook his hand friendly, a weird tingle forming in her fingertips.</p>
<p>A few months passed by and she couldn’t deny the effect he had on her. Just like everyone else, she had the biggest crush she’d ever had on someone. He was the sweetest guy she’d ever met, despite him looking so intimidating; he was so caring, thoughtful, and when they had a little more confidence, she learned he was also unintentionally hilarious (probably because of his lack of malice and his hard time detecting sarcasm). </p>
<p>They soon became good friends and were often seen together at lunchtime, or during breaks. They’d go to museums together and they’d spend hours and hours chatting about architecture and art and history and gardening (which was Ushijima’s ultimate passion). He’d even offer a hand to help her with her master’s degree in Architectural Rehabilitation.  She’d thank him by giving him a flowerpot with a beautiful sunflower, which she discovered it was his favorite. He’d put it on the stool of his window, where it had a perfect view of the street and the sun could shower it every day. </p>
<p>The actual winter had come so harsh and sudden that it was harder to handle the coldness she felt inside her body. The heating bill rose to exaggerated levels, luckily her salary as a professor didn’t give her a problem to pay for it. She’d teach her class covered in clothing, with her loyal leather gloves covering her hands and a warm cashmere tartan scarf Ushijima had given her for her birthday around her neck. Her students would look at her in sorrow, wondering what could be wrong in the life of someone so nice and caring and joyful to have her heart freezing her body to almost death.  She looked thinner, the shivering was making her burn calories again, but it wasn’t all that bad, that meant she could put on another pair of stockings under her trousers.</p>
<p>One day she was waiting for Ushijima to arrive. He had told her that he had something very special to show her. She couldn’t deny that she was nervous. She’d always feel the same every time she’d hang out with him. He made her feel so good, yet he was so unaware of her feelings for him. He was so smart, the most intelligent guy she’d ever met, but he was so damn oblivious it made her want to scream in frustration. When he came to where she was, his cheeks were red, and he was out of breath.</p>
<p>“Sorry I’m late” he said with his usual serious tone. “Come this way”.</p>
<p>He took her covered hand in his and guided her through the streets until they arrived at some kind of yard with a glass structure in the middle.</p>
<p>“I want to show you something I’ve been working on” he said with a faint smile, and they both trespassed through the see-through door. She could see a great variety of plants, different flowers and even small trees growing inside the glass building. Every species had been carefully tagged and had its own space to grow. If plants could talk, they’d be screaming in happiness, because it was obvious that Ushijima was taking care of them as if they were his own children. She admired the dedication he had with the things he really loved. He was adorable. He looked at the environment he’d created in delight, the way she wanted him to look at her. “Do you like it?”</p>
<p>“Are you kidding? I love it!” she exclaimed in excitement, which made the boy smile sincerely. It was warmer inside the greenhouse than outside, but still, she never took a garment of her clothes off. “How long have you been working on it?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, a few months?” he said, trying to remember. He failed, and she laughed. He smiled again. “Honestly, I can’t remember, I lose track of the time when I’m here”.</p>
<p>“It’s great, I swear” she smiled, looking at the plants. Then she turned to him: “Is my sunflower here?”</p>
<p>“No, she’s at home” he smiled so bright that his eyes closed, a sight that didn’t happen too often.</p>
<p>“She?” he nodded, still smiling. She let out a chuckle. “Did you just assign gender to a flower?”</p>
<p>“Yes, let me explain” he said in a serious tone. “You gave her to me, so she’s a smaller version of you. It’s like… if a part of you lived with me? If that makes sense”</p>
<p>She felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach. How could he do that? How could he make her feel that way without even trying? Honestly, it was unfair. He was so nice, so genuinely good and kind that it made her want to cry right there. He grabbed her gloved hand again.</p>
<p>“Let’s take you home, it’s starting to snow”. He took her to his motorbike and put on a helmet. Then he took a second helmet out of the trunk and put it carefully on her head. He softly hit the front part of her helmet with his in a friendly way, which made her laugh.</p>
<p>The ride home was quiet, but it felt comfortable. He felt cozy, he felt like home. A shy hand wave as goodbye on her front door, and he was disappearing in the distance. She sighed. She liked him so much.</p>
<p>That morning she woke up with the worst headache ever. She dressed up like the usual: two pairs of stockings, her jeans, and a pair of Docs, a thin t-shirt, a flannel over it and a wool sweater on top. She wrapped her favorite scarf (the one Ushijima had given her) around her neck, put on her gloves and trench coat, grabbed her bag and went outside.</p>
<p>It was snowing so she decided to take the metro instead of taking her bicycle. She stopped at the front door of the campus, waiting for Ushijima like every other morning, when she saw him getting out of a car that wasn’t his before giving some girl a peck on the lips. She didn’t realize in that moment what had just happened. Did she just saw Ushijima kissing someone? She found herself with her eyes fixed on nothing when she felt a light pressure on her shoulder.</p>
<p>“Hey, are you there?” there they were, those beautiful olive eyes she loved so much, looking at her. She nodded with a smile. “I want you to meet Mirai, my girlfriend”.<br/>
</p>
<p><i>‘My girlfriend’. Girlfriend.</i> Did she hear right? That’s what he’d said, didn’t he?</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you!” Mirai said, happily, giving her a warm smile. “Toshi is always talking about you, I’m so happy we can finally meet!” <i>Toshi</i>, she repeated in her mind. She never called him by his first name, yet she had a nickname for him. That stung.</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you, too” she said in a small voice, trying to give Mirai her best smile. Of course, he had a girlfriend; he was too good to not be taken. And, God, she was beautiful. She was as beautiful as him, with her hair dyed light brown and cute bangs falling on her forehead, bubbly personality and outgoing, in contrast to him. They looked like they were meant to be, no one could deny that. As they were approaching the door of the main building, she felt her heart literally cracking, the fissure on it leaving small ice shards, nailing the muscles on her chest and her lungs. She fell right on her feet after exhaling a breathless cry, full of pain.</p>
<p>“Oh my God! Is she okay?” both Ushijima and Mirai were dead worried about the girl. “Wakatoshi, we need to take her to the hospital” </p>
<p>“No! I’m okay” she said, trying to recover from the weird thing that had happened to her. A shrill pain was oppressing her chest, but she tried to ignore it. Ushijima hold her arm and she felt that electric shock one more time. It broke her heart even more.</p>
<p>“Are you sure? Do you want me to take you home, at least? Mirai’s car is right there”<i> Mirai’s car</i>. Did she really want to be inside that car, at all? He didn’t give her time to think about her answer, the couple basically dragged her to the back seat of the vehicle. She was feeling dizzy, lucky that she wasn’t even conscious to remember the way back home. The couple took her to the front door. She felt Mirai’s hands on her cheeks; they were warm, which meant she was happy. They didn’t transfer the warmth to her own skin.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Take care, okay? I hope to see you soon again” she was so nice it pained her. She wanted to hate her, even though Mirai didn’t do anything wrong. The only thing Mirai did was just to date the love of her life, which casually happened to be the love of the girl’s life as well. She hated herself for wanting to hate her, and she hated herself even more for failing at it. She felt stupid and naïve.</p>
<p>“I’ll call you tonight. Take care of yourself” Ushijima put his hands on her shoulders, but she didn’t dare to look at his eyes. She just nodded and went straight inside her home, where she could stay under the burning shower for as much time as she wanted.</p>
<p>The next day the pain was still there, but it was bearable, so she repeated her morning routine and headed towards college. Ushijima was already there waiting for her, alone.</p>
<p>“How’re you feeling? You definitely shouldn’t have come today”.</p>
<p>“Don’t be dramatic” she said, laughing it off. “It was just arrhythmia” she lied.</p>
<p>“Do these often happen to you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah” she waved her hand, downplaying it. He still looked at her with serious eyes. “I’m okay, I swear! Stop staring at me!”</p>
<p>He finally agreed to leave the topic and the day went on as per usual. He acted the same way, and she tried to do the same thing. She didn’t feel like he had been playing with her feelings, she didn’t hate him at all. He was just being nice with her, and despite everything, she was incredibly thankful to him. It was still the same for him, after all. He had his beautiful girlfriend, and he had his beloved best friend, who casually happened to be deeply in love with him.<i> ‘That’s life… I guess’ </i>she’d think to herself.</p>
<p>She’d try to ignore the void in her chest that grew bigger every day. On the outside she’d still be the same that everyone used to know: happy, cheerful, and optimistic. On the inside, she’d be dying.</p>
<p>She didn’t remember the last time she’d worn her favorite jeans, because they were now too big for her. She didn’t even realize she’d stopped eating full meals; she was surviving on tea, coffee and sometimes soda. She was too tired to go grocery shopping, so she’d stop from time to time at the convenience store to buy basic stuff. She wasn’t even strong enough to go to college, but she had to work, and also needed to see him, so she’d do her very best to get up every morning. He was incredibly worried about her; her cheekbones and jawline were more defined. The bags under her eyes made her look like she’d been sick for years. He had started feeling a spark of coldness in his chest as well.</p>
<p>Ushijima had changed. He’d often be seen zoning out, which wasn’t normal of him at all. He’d stop his explanations in the middle of a lecture, staying blank out of the sudden. He’d storm out of the classroom to wash his face. He’d try to concentrate again, but he’d fail. He had started to wear more clothes now, thicker pants, a pair of t-shirts under his sweater, a beanie to keep his ears warm from the winter wind.</p>
<p>He’d take care of his sunflower every single day, but she looked a little more withered every second. He’d stop working on his greenhouse; suddenly he didn’t have the motivation or strength to take care of so many lives, when he couldn’t even take care of himself or his girlfriend, or his best friend. Mirai noticed his behavior, she was worried about him, but it seemed like she could do nothing for him. Everyone was slowly turning blue.</p>
<p>He’d call her every day, when he’d wake up, and every night, when he’d go to bed. He barely slept, though. He’d text her every two hours, sometimes the time lapse between the messages was even shorter. He’d go to visit her every two days, but no one would answer. Ushijima was afraid that she’d have run away, he wanted to see her again; he needed to know about her.</p>
<p>She couldn’t even get up from her bed, weeks since the last time she could go to work. She was starving, on the verge of malnutrition. The shivers on her body were as strong as cramps. She felt her hair and lashes frosted. She’d bitten her tongue so many times with the chattering of her teeth that she couldn’t feel it anymore. She’d worn the same clothes for days, with the trench coat and her gloves even inside the bed. She knew her time was running out, and she had to see him for the last time.</p>
<p>The moment he saw the petals of the flower completely frosted he knew. He grabbed the keys of his car and went straight to her place. He’d knock down the door if it was needed. He didn’t care.  When he arrived at her house, he saw her on the entrance, lying on the floor, unconscious. He took her in his arms and put her on the passenger seat of the car, and he immediately drove to the hospital as fast as he could. He turned on the heat, she was on the verge of hypothermia, and he was noticing how the warmth was leaving his own body too.</p>
<p>When the doctors took her and carried her through the hallway that he wasn’t allowed to enter, he was feeling anxious. She was bordering the fine line that divided life and death, they said. She couldn’t be saved, they said. It was too late, they said. The heat of her room was at the maximum and the nurses were constantly trying to raise her temperature with hot water, but nothing worked. She was unconscious and he was so nervous that he couldn’t remember her face. She’d been at the hospital for weeks, not giving any sign of improvement. The doctor would say to him that they’d turn off the machines that kept her alive that night. He encouraged Ushijima to talk to her, that maybe his voice could be a miracle for her. He chuckled, because he found ironic that the doctor thought he was her boyfriend. He looked like it, there was no one else there for her, and he’d forgotten about his own wellbeing for her.</p>
<p>When he entered her room and saw her, his own body froze in place. Her hair was frosty, and her lips and eyelids were blue. He couldn’t recognize her without her usual dark, pigmented lipstick and makeup, now he realized that it was to cover the blueness of her skin. She looked like an ice statue. She seemed at peace. He sat on the edge of the bed, next to her, without knowing what to say.</p>
<p>“I wish I’d found you earlier” he murmured, not sure if she was able to hear him. He looked down, trying not to cry, when he saw her hands. He realized that it was the first time he’d see them. They were beautiful, her fingers were long and delicate, but they had the same blue hue she had on the rest of her body. He took her hand without thinking, when he felt it. The sudden warmth started from his fingertips to the rest of his body. Burning him alive, but it felt amazing. He fixed his eyes on her face that was suddenly starting to change into a nice and healthy pink tone. The ice of her hair melted, wetting the pillowcase. His heart skipped a beat when she opened her eyes and stared at him, confused at first, and then realizing what was going on. They both smiled, talking through their eyes, looking at each other. She opened her mouth to say something.</p>
<p>“I know” he cut her with a smile, still holding her hand.</p>
<p>The sunflower on the stool next to his window was no longer frozen. The frost that had melted was now sinking into the soil, and it would make the flower grow prettier and healthier than any other.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Again, English is not my first language and even though this was proofread I'm sure there are a lot of mistakes. Feedback, comments, kudos etc are super appreciated, I'm not too confident with my writing skills hhuuheuhu. Also this was recycled from my old kpop blog on tumblr, which I decided to delete because I started feeling uncomfy writing about IRL people, but I edited it to suit Ushi's character. I hope this ain't too ooc, despite Ushijima taking his studies seriously and becoming an actual professor.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>